We humans are wired to have a sense of belonging. Acknowledgement makes us feel respected. We all need to belong and be associated to feel wanted and seen.
Being ostracized is more detrimental than harassment.
Let’s understand why.
When we go through harassment, verbal abuse or taunting at work and get treated negatively, we know that it is terrible, but it still makes us believe we belong and are seen. It means you still exist. However, Ostracism is worst as it is like a social doubt. It makes you feel invisible and question your existence. You constantly think and ask yourself why – despite being thoughtful, kind, inclusive, and talented, having much to share is not included.
To call Ostracism an explosive pressure building up inside you would be a big-time understatement. You constantly feel like you’re a nobody, like no one cares about you, that you will never succeed or find the group you belong in. In most workplaces, Ostracism is a deliberate behavior to make one feel excluded.
I am borderline in tears as I write this; it’s that debilitating!
For those of you going through a similar experience as me, know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
How to know if you are being Ostracized at Work?
It’s a systematic demeaning. No direct Bullying, but also no Hellos, no Emails, no eye contact, no assault; you cannot see it but feel it deeply.
Like most strong people, you may be okay with not being seen as you are confident that no matter what, you will make your way to places where you and your ideas will be valued, but being ostracised can break your confidence and impact your desired growth. It did for me, and I am a highly confident person.
Imagine never being recognized for anything you do for your workplace. Not once, and on top of it, you keep seeing the less deserving ones achieving the success you wanted.
Being constantly Ostracised is demotivating, and not being recognized for your hard work and contributions makes you fail, quit, get fired, or become a mediocre employee.
How can you evaluate if you are being ostracized?
Before taking any action, evaluate the situation objectively.
For example, if you do not like to go to parties or do not enjoy drinking and have communicated this to your colleagues, if they do not invite you to a party or drinking session, knowing that you would not want to be there is okay. However, if they exclude you from all team activities and get-togethers, which do not include drinking or partying, you can check with them to see why you have yet to get the invite.
It could be that they missed it due to some reasons.
It is crucial to ensure you are not misinterpreting actions or behaviours such as Ostracism when they may be unintentional or unrelated to you.
However, if they do not want to address your question, ignore it and continue to exclude you from their get-togethers, give you silent treatments, make fun of you behind your back, and discourage you from team meeting participation. It’s a clear sign that you are ostracized.
It is important to learn how to Deal with Being Ostracized at Work to make sure you are not losing the sight of your mental health. Please share this article with anyone who you think has faced severe ostracism at work and is in need to know how to Deal with Being Ostracized at Work. Learning how to deal with being ostracized will change how you think about this situation.
Love
G
When not working, can usually be found reading a book, spending (perhaps a little too much) time meditating, practicing yog, or just vibing in the present moment like a mindfulness pro. And—despite claiming she knits very badly—she still picks up the needles now and then. Blogging to share her life learnings is her passion!