How to Deal with Being Ostracized at Work?

You are here as you now understand what is Ostracism at work and have realized that your inner voice was not wrong. You indeed have been ostracized.
Once you know, you are ostracized. Follow these steps to try and make your work situation better.

1. Try to Resolve it constructively

If you are sure you are getting ostracized by a particular person or group at work, that is affecting your performance.

Approach the person or people you believe are ostracizing you calmly and respectfully. Express your concerns and feelings without accusing or blaming.

Use “I” statements to describe how their behavior affects you emotionally and professionally. For example- I need to be made aware of essential updates in the team, and I want to understand and fill the gap. I am open to any feedback you have for me.

If the initial conversation doesn’t lead to a resolution or if you feel uncomfortable addressing the issue directly, consider involving a mediator to facilitate a discussion. Maintain professionalism throughout the process.

Avoid any behaviour that comes across as retaliation; remember that addressing Ostracism can be a sensitive and challenging process.

It’s essential to remain patient and persistent while seeking a resolution. Honest communication about how you feel and how it affects your work performance with others within the organization can help create a more inclusive and respectful workplace.

2. Do not seek validation and remain in your power

You know that no matter what, you won’t be recognized by the people at your workplace.

Learn to Acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments, even the small ones.

Recognize your achievements independently rather than waiting for others to praise you.   Be bold and continue to seek constructive feedback from colleagues, mentors, or supervisors.

Use this feedback to improve and focus on your improvement rather than solely seeking validation from people you don’t matter to. Channel your energy into continuous self-improvement, which will help you come across as someone who gets seen by the right people at the right time.

3. Understand that you don’t belong to your workplace or its people

At my previous job, I was a person who constantly looked for a sense of belonging. The people at my workplace offered that, but when they saw that I am a personality with ideas, they came across as someone threatened by it. I was excluded from all events and team activities. It was so bad that my team did not even invite me to little cake-cutting ceremonies.

This experience made me understand that my workplace is not a place I belong to, and I need to stop looking for that in it.

 In my current job, which I’ve had for more than two years, I’ve kept myself to myself and focused on work, but I remain friendly and supportive to my colleagues and treat all colleagues the same. I agree that this is an overlooked form of workplace mistreatment that needs to be addressed seriously.

To anyone who has just started a new job or has already started,

I advise making friends with your colleagues. Your workplace is a place to work and not to make friends. Once you overcome that, you do not have to belong to the workplace or its people.

You cannot be ostracised severely.

4. Know that they are jealous

You must know that people who intentionally or unintentionally exclude others are intimidated or threatened by their confidence, fantastic ideas, unique presence, beauty and successes.

If you are ostracised at work, believe that you’re too good for where you are and deserve better- the universe wants you to make a move- it’s time. Leap forward; it might be the perfect moment for a change. Be the cosmic self and make yourself proud, you super fantastic being.

5. Seek Support

When your work health is affected deeply due to experiencing Ostracism, you should consider seeking support from HR, a supervisor, or a trusted colleague.

Document instances of Ostracism, as it will be helpful if you need to escalate the issue.

I have saved all the meeting recordings where I was constantly interrupted while trying to present an idea and a win. I could never give it as they would overtalk and change the topic. It was so evident that a couple of colleagues contacted me to check and show their support.

HR looked into those meetings and shared subtle feedback with management. But I still faced Ostracism in the form of jokes where they intentionally mute me and say -We could not hear you and laugh.

6. Learn to Quit on time

I have experienced ostracization at work before and made the mistake of seeking validation.

It worsened the situation as my employer did nothing about it and pointed a finger back at me. I felt like I was walking on eggshells; all I had to do to get fired was make one mistake.

I respected my mental health and accepted that I could not work under constant pressure, which is not work-related but a result of Ostracism. I walked away from there.

The biggest lesson this experience taught me is to stay detached from my workplace, coworkers and especially my boss. I learned to Establish clear, achievable goals for myself. I knew that I did not have to make friends at the workplace. I now Focus on my personal and professional growth rather than seeking approval from others. When you meet your objectives, you’ll naturally build self-confidence.

7. Be Inclusive of others

Because you know how it feels to be ostracized, you need to strive to make sure that the people you care about NEVER feel this way (i.e., by including them in conversations if they struggle socially; by introducing them to people we meet, by ensuring they are never left out and that they get acknowledged for their views. Be inclusive of others. Learn to accept the differences and lead by example wherever you go.

Be the change you want to see in your surroundings.

Love

G