What happens when you quit social media?

Good Morning, Astral souls!

Planning to quit social Media?

Like most of you, who are now contemplating this decision, I too, signed up for my first social media account when I was 17. I made this account only to add people I knew from school. I loved connecting with my friends, finding my favourite artists, and following them.

Like most youngsters, I did not use social media to network but to document my life, and that too, not for myself but for how I wanted to be perceived. And how I wanted to be perceived? I wanted to be Perfect. You can check out the negative aspects of social media that promote negative experiences.

Then came a phase where I wanted to do everything: learn new skills, go places, and be with certain people only to post my perfect self. But I knew deep down that I was not the person I was becoming. I was different from this person who would please people. I would never post what I posted; hence, I practised and occasionally decluttered my account and friends list.

And then, I slowly started to take off from social media.

First, these would last for 1-2 days, then a week, and then I would only check my account occasionally. Going off and on from social media created a space for me to feel less pressured to be a certain way. It helped me to understand and accept that nothing changes on social media while I am not there.

But everything is constantly changing in my life. In real life, I am getting a bit older, wiser, and more beautiful every moment. I started noticing the offline world more and more.
I am hooked on this real life. It’s addictive. I am thankful that I decided to delete my social media accounts permanently. It’s been Nine years that I have been offline, and what am I missing?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Here is what I learned after I quit social media

1. No one cares

I mean it. No one.No one will worry about you. No one will call you. No one is going to check on you. Period!

People who worry about you would not wait for you to go offline to check on you. They, anyway, are constantly checking on you. Think of someone who had reached out to you when you were thinking of them or picked up your call when you needed to talk to someone. We all have such wonderful people in our lives.

Going off Social media cannot stop these people from worrying about you or start worrying about you. It’s a small world when someone has decided to be in your life. Being offline or online won’t affect them. These are the people who love you for who you are. Your close ones, friends who know you and have video call you without makeup. The ones who understand what Netflix series you are watching and what book you would like as a holiday gift.

Friends who know your health issues, fears, worst days, break-up stories, and strengths. Souls who cheer for you because they care. They always care. They are your people, and they would not need a social media announcement to wish you your birthday, congratulate you on your success, or console you in your sad times. They would do it because they care for you.

Realizing the value of people who care for you can be a simple process. It can be an act of returning attention to them once you stop looking for that attention from outside.

Accepting that no one cared about your long list of followers will take days, weeks, months, and years. Soon, you will stop waiting for someone to reach out to you and ask about your whereabouts, as you will know that you are exactly where you are supposed to be.

2. Boredom is a Blessing

Quitting social media made me face boredom. I was bored. I would not lie; I slept a lot for the first few days. It was like I was catching up on all the sleep I had missed, scrolling down and switching from one app to another. My eyes thanked me.

Once, I adopted a healthy sleep cycle. I faced boredom, and when you are bored, you do things that excite you to get out of it. So, to kill my boredom, I started to listen to and explore great music again, lots of soul/R&B and classic rock from the ’60s, ’70s, and ’80s. It enriched my soul!

Eventually, I began reading and became interested in human psychology and the arts, things I always loved but never dared to immerse myself in, like learning Yog. I even learned how to bake. Nope! I did not click a picture, and I don’t have to prove it to you!

I feel more connected to my purpose and my passion to be more and do more. I am more connected to the mission of the work I do.

No one else can show you who you are but you, so take the time to get to know what you like, what you don’t like, who you like, who you don’t like, and why. Make your boredom your guide to learning and doing new things.

3. Pressure of Expectation

Social media has become a blueprint of rules and orders. It tells us how we must live our lives. It has an unparalleled set of expectations from us.

How we look, where we live, how we are getting clicked, how we should dress, what we should eat and drink, and so on. It had planted the idea that we should have our “life together” by the time we hit a certain age.

Your 20s are your developing years, and your life is just starting. People in their 30s don’t even have their life together and are still figuring life out. I am one of them. That’s what social media can do to your mental state as a young adult. It can pressure you to achieve more in less time.

Going offline made me stay away from people who love to show off and brag or people who are too extreme with projecting their agendas and if you don’t fit their way of life.

You are under constant pressure indirectly to question your way of living.

I saved myself years that would have gone by trying to fulfil other people’s expectations of me. I am now busy fulfilling the expectations that I have from me. It is super duper fun.

4. My Looks Changed

Being good-looking is nice. But looking tired, exhausted, burned out, and confused makes you look low and lost.

You start to look relaxed once you rest well and have made friends with your sleep.

As you have time, you pay attention to your overall looks. I started paying more attention to my overall mental, physical, and spiritual health. I understood what makes me feel good. I started experimenting with my looks without fearing being judged or the pressure of sharing my new eyes picture online. The absence of criticism from the outside makes you more confident.

I slowly developed my style and individuality. You can learn how I find my unique self in my other blog- “How do you get to know your beautiful self in six steps?”

I now get compliments on my clothes, health, and overall personality. And the secret is as simple as it is. I gave myself the time, space, and even permission to pursue being someone I could be proud of.

I gave myself space, found people and things that inspired me, and took all of what’s good and be that good myself.

 I now have a very individualistic style, and I own it.

5. My Connections are more meaningful now

The most beautiful person in the world is the one who listens to you. I do listen to people more now, which makes me stand out. I love having conversations and talking to people.

I am curious to know them.

Not being on social media, I don’t get to see how they want to be seen or perceived.

I am interested in their authentic selves. They appreciate it. I now call my friends more and have more than an hour-long conversation, which is more than just a Hello.

I can’t tell you how much fun it is to talk to your friend for hours. I know them, and they know me. I keep my circle small and private, and knowing I am not alone is a blessing.

I know they are not copying and pasting words to encourage me. They are saying truthful things that are coming from them in real time. It’s just a good feeling. I have connections who like me offline. The only difference is that I can feel their likes, not in the shape of a heart but in infinity.

6. Beat the Fomo

Fomo means- fear of missing out. Social media tells our young adults heads what we should follow. If we do not follow it, we miss a significant point, and a never-ending quest starts in our mind. A quest to know what did I miss?

It keeps you confused by presenting a bazillion opinions on anything and everything, and finding the answer makes us feel behind, old, or worse, weird. Social media makes you worry a lot about what others are doing and deleting social media takes away this luxury of worrying from you.

We are a generation who have grown up constantly seeing what everyone else is doing and feeling left out. We think that our own lives are not enough.

Deleting social media made me stop worrying about other people’s life journeys. It made me respect and value my unique life journey. Accepting this cured my fear of missing out. Being offline, I am suddenly not comparing myself because I cannot do it—such a sense of freedom from worrying about what I missed. I have beaten the fear of missing out. I know I am here and don’t have to be anywhere else.

7. I am over my Anxiety

I am a lot less stressed now.

Social media is where everyone has an opinion, leaving no space for conversations. I consumed too much information and felt my brain’s processing ability was declining.

I was not processing the information shared but spitting out my reactions and feelings about everything I was watching.

On social media, to express yourself, you are given access to a heart box and a text box where you can type mindlessly and follow anything or anyone. Random videos play, and we have less time to decide or like. I was anxious every minute of it.

Going offline has cured my Anxiety on most levels. No social media a day keeps the unnecessary stress away. I have accepted social media is not for me. It doesn’t mean you have to be offline too. It’s a choice. I made a choice, and It has been life-changing in so many positive ways, so I will continue to be offline.

Going offline is considered rare or weird, but being on it is rare and different.

When I see people in a rush and haste, I wish to dust off all these illusions so they can see that we have all the time in the world. And that you are stressed because you are doing something that isn’t charging your soul but just your phone.

I talk to the moon, chill on my roof and gaze at the sky, pet the grass, and savour every bite of my food like Remy from freaking Ratatouille. Just as I savour life, it’s alienating, and I am grateful for it.

Love

G